Don't Change Yourself, Improve Yourself.

Before taking a step to Change or Improve yourself, you need to know yourself first. So how do you know yourself? 

Knowing basic things like your likes, dislikes, kind of nature is not sufficient to know yourself better.You need to know every minute detail about yourself, because even a smallest thing counts in this big world. Before deciding on to change yourself, ask yourself a small question, 'Are you that bad that the worldly opinion is influencing you to change yourself or is it that you who has decided to change?' 

If it's the case that you are changing because of others, it's time to realize that you don't love yourself enough and you are so weak as a person that you easily get influenced. Start to love yourself before doing anything else in your life. You can get a few tips for Self Love on my post: https://lifeskillenhancement.blogspot.com/2019/07/self-love.html?m=1

Next, if you have yourself decided to change, then let me modify a small word for you here. You aren't CHANGING yourself, you are IMPROVING yourself. 

Remember even one word in your mind can affect your thoughts and acts. So when you think you are improving yourself it gives you a sense of positivity. On the other hand when you think you are changing yourself it has a negative sound from the inner you who is questioning you, 'Am I so bad that I need to change to fit in this world?' 

Remember never shush your inner voice, it's who you really are.

So every time you decide to improve or work on something keep telling yourself, 'I am doing this for my own self'

Here are some common situations where you can relate yourself and Improve, and not Change.

1. The act of improving oneself arises in a situation where you think you are being treated as an outsider among other people. And what makes you think that? Only because you think people are different than you, the surrounding and the atmosphere is such that you are not able to be your own self. Such places may include educational institutions or work place. Understand it's okay if people are different there, it's fine if the atmosphere is different. These little facts do not mean that you are lacking something in you and therefore you have to change yourself. Rather than changing, decide to improve yourself, make yourself open to accept and be comfortable with the fact that every individual is different. You don't have to change to set in an environment which you don't like, instead improve yourself and learn to adjust to fit in that environment because life is all about adjustments in the required circumstances.
2. The act of improving oneself arises when you are losing your own self because you have started disliking yourself. Only because you think others are having a good life and you aren't doing well in your life, therefore you need to change and be like them. No, you don't have to change, you only need improve yourself by having self confidence and love for yourself. Don't compare your life with others, everyone has their own story which is not read aloud.
3. The act of improving oneself arises when you have unintentionally and unknowingly indulged in the habit of overthinking. Overthinking is one of the cause of your unhappiness. If it's in your nature to overthink, then ask yourself a question here: 'Did overthinking ever gave you any solution?' With all probability the answer here is a No. So improve yourself and avoid to overthink by having a wise and a practical approach towards the issue.
4. The act of improving oneself arises when you are stuck in daily fights between your mind and heart, which is known as internal conflict. The mind and heart are part of your own body don't indulge in fights between them, rather decide on to chose a wise thought either from your heart or mind depending on the circumstances of the issue. You can read about handling internal conflicts in my post here: https://lifeskillenhancement.blogspot.com/2019/06/handling-internal-conflicts.html?m=1

Remember to improve yourself, not to change.

Good Luck!